Splinter

(2008) **** 1/2

Seth is a Biology PhD candidate and knows, in theory, what camping is. Polly is his live-in girlfriend who completes him in the Outdoor Survival department as they embark on a romantic anniversary roadtrip that goes horribly wrong in Splinter. Dennis and Lacey are two backwoods folks on the run from the law, into drugs and into each other -- who could ask for more?

I trust him to know his way around an O-Chem textbook, not around a shotgun!

The two couples meet in the most unfortunate of circumstances: one is taking the other hostage on a dark treacherous drive through the woods. They soon arrive at an empty gas station that the film opened with. We saw a young man get assaulted there by a strange creature so we know Seth, Polly, Dennis and Lacey are in for it.

The camera shots are a little bit shaky when people are about to be splintered (or focuses those who have been splintered), but the effects are disgusting, gut-wrenching, and grrreat! I'm thankful I finished my chicken burrito before watching this thing crawl about:

What is this, Addams Family 4?!??

The character types included in this movie are written in such a way that you expect them to get on your nerves, but there's so much splintering action going on that there's no time for annoyances or crappy dialogue. I'm also happy to report Splinter has the perfect running time for a gory flick, 82 minutes.

I can only watch this dude writhe around for so long.

In all honesty, though, I really dug this movie and didn't even consider any of the faults until I read JPX's review from 2009. Splinter made me squirm and cleared the room of housemates and guests so it gets my approval :-)