Piranha

(1978) **

A young naive couple set out for a night hike they'll never forget -- 'cause they won't make it out alive! They come across a torn chain-link fence with a No Trespassing sign and figure a little law-breakin' never done hurt to no body, and when they go for an innocent moonlit swim end up being eaten by . . .

"The piranhas are here...Hungry for flesh! Who can stop them?"

So begins this 70's forgettable flick focusing on Maggie, hired to search for the missing couple (not knowing they've become fish food), and the unexpecting Paul Rogan, a brawny bearded man living in a cabin. Maggie convinces him to help her find the couple after he gives her no answers because he's too busy eating fish.

Just you wait, Mister Rogan... you're on my shit list.

In an effort to find what's in the pool that drowned the couple Maggie decides to drain the water, expecting it'd expose the evil underneath, but her efforts are worthless because those little buggers escaped through the drain and right into the river.

Aah, this takes me back to fishin' trips with my dad.

Because water is essential for life and recreation, every person within a five-state radius is utilizing the river as such. Maggie and Paul have to stop them or they'll be eaten -- including a military general and scientist that deny the piranha's existence AND Paul's 8 year-old daughter who is at summer camp. Both of the scenes of major piranha attacks seem all too close to those in Jaws.

Aside from the most ridiculous excuse for a boob shot that I've ever seen, this movie is forgettable but not unenjoyable. Watch it again with a bowl of popcorn and a root beer float, preferably as an appetizer to a dinner of prepared fish filets.