[From Cracked.com]Re: Hi Mom!
Hi Mom,
We finally found out the mission today. Apparently we're looking for the origins of life, out here in space. It's weird that no on told us what our objective was until we got out here. Like, they have some punk-rock geologist with a Mohawk and a bunch of tattoos who says he's "not here to make friends" and he's "only doing this for the money." Now, if the Weyland Corporation had just gone on Monster.com or whatever back on Earth and said "We're looking for a qualified geologist interested in learning about the origins of human life," they'd probably get applicants who were generally excited and knowledgeable, instead of just a-holes (sorry!) who are only in it for the money.
Like, if I was making a baseball team, I wouldn't say "Hey everyone, follow me RIGHT NOW, I'm not telling you what we're doing until we get there," and hope for the best. I'd say "Hey, friends, which of you are interested in baseball? Come with me!" And then I'd ONLY get baseball fans, you know? Now they're paying who KNOWS what to some cranky geologist who doesn't even LIKE space or aliens or, (I know it sounds crazy), science. I mean there's only like seventeen people on the whole crew and one of them hates everyone. Just seems like there were a lot of holes in the plan, is all.
Love you lots!
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