Johnny Sweatpants' Review Bomb

Before I post my Horrorthon '12 wrap-up I first need to get these off my chest. Octopunk's review bomb inspired me to address the movies I watched but didn't review this year. I'll keep this short and totally sweet!

Severance (2006) ****

A group of co-workers on a retreat in Hungary experience murder and mayhem in the forest. Worthy of attention! I loved Severance and intend to write a proper review down the road. I am very discriminating when it comes to humorous/satirical horror movies but this one found that magical balance. The promotional tag The Office meets Friday the 13th does not do it justice.

Cabin in the Woods (2011) **1/2

Conversely, Josh Whedon rubbed me the wrong way with his pop culture references as well as the overall tone of Cabin in the Woods. I respect Whedon but I don't consider him a legit horror director. However there is a lot of Horrorthon love for this movie so I feel the need to give it another chance.

Slugs (1988) **1/2

Slugs is everything you would expect based on the title and its 1988 year of release.

Lady Frankenstein (1972) **

The monster pictured above is pretty sweet but the movie is long and boring, as 1972 horror films tend to be. JPX wouldn’t last 10 minutes.

Splice (2009) ***

He's a gifted actor but I frankly don't understand Crystal's obsession.

Please peruse the reviews from Julie, Octo and Crystal because they're great and I can't be arsed to write a summary. Splice entertained me, particularly the scene where Adrien Grody got what was coming to him...

Audition (1999) *****

A wealthy widower falls in love with a beautiful woman with a mysterious past. Bad things happen in Takashi Miike's cult gem. I watched this for the first time in 7 years and loved every minute of it. This is fantastic, must-see, J-Horror at it's best. Even better than I remembered!

Inferno (1980) ***1/2

Dario Argento’s sequel to Suspiria flows more like a bad acid trip than a movie. I love it, but it's definitely not for everyone.

The Dead (2010) **

A mostly forgettable zombie flick with a couple of standout scenes.

Zombie Diaries 2 (2011) *

I don’t remember a goddang thing about this movie even after reading up on it. It most certainly did not make an impression on me. Not worthy of a screen pic let alone a review.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) ****

Rare Exports is a dark Finnish take on the myth of Santa Claus. Believe the hype. I shall watch this every December until further notice!

A Horrible Way to Die (2010) ***1/2

I watched it based on the title alone and was pleasantly surprised to find an engaging indie drama focusing on a serial killer's stalker relationship with his ex-girlfriend.

Fausto 5.0 (2001) ***1/2

A bizarre story that cannot be summed up in one sentence. Catfreeek has been trying to get me to watch this for years and I'm thankful she was persistent. I promise to review it next year!